Sir Lancealot
I'm sure that this particularl title has been written previously with reference to HRM Lance the 1st, but what do I care? All that matters is that the guy is just 22 seconds behind. Sweet. The Twins also finally won a game, but I won't jinx them by writing about it. The Saints won too. Good for them. Unfortunately the White Sox won, but hopefully Oakland can get the business done tommorow.
So now that I've got the sports section done here, how about the comics? No? Oh, all right, I'll give you what you want, Harriet's dating advice. Really. That actually is a column in the Pioneer Press. So what's G. Mantle's dating advice? Don't do it. If you must, of course, then there are a few simple (10) guidelines that you should follow.
1. Never stare. Your mother always told you that it wasn't polite and she was right.
2. Don't talk about politics, sports, or eating habits. You'll end the date pretty quickly that way.
3. Don't reference obscure '80s rock bands to impress. The other person will start talking about obscure '80s rock bands and you'll look like a fool.
4. I your date references obscure '80s rock bands don't respond in kind.
5. Shower first. People don't like smelling last night's BBQ.
6. Pay for food. It makes the other person feel cheap and indebted to you.
7. Don't watch the TV behind the person's head or to the right or left or whatever.
8. Make sure to blink at a normal rate.
9. Women should not drink diet drinks. Thin men should.
10. And most importantly, remember to just (not) have fun.
bye
Posted by Greenmantle at July 17, 2004 11:07 PM