Hi. I am kind of tired, so I won't write much. Actually, I am very tired. Like dead tired. Like so tired that I won't even tell you that the Wild have more road victories then home ones, and that the NBA season started today. Well, here is my prediction. Wolves-Bucks final, Wolves in game 7. Well, a guy can dream, can't he? Oh, be quite. Good night
Hi. Well, as you've guessed, I have absolutely nothing to write about. Let's see. HUhuhuhuhuhuhummmm. well, there is a game being played between the Chargers and Dolphins right now in Tempe AZ. That's a good place. It looks like Phoenix will finally be able to watch an NFL game. Though really, the game itself has been garbage. 24-3 at the half? It isn't even worth paying the admission fee. And yes, the game is free. So there. And of course, the Twins are experiencing a massive exodus, as all of their half-decent players have joined that fun group of thingamajiggies called free agents. Yeah. Last time that did a Minnesota team any good, Marian Gaborik held out. And is stil holding out. Not that it'll do any good, but Pascal Dupuis finally signed a contract. Of course though, this season is basically over. Bye bYe now
Well Mr. "I can't afford the most powerful computer on earth" has posted a message. It's true, he can't. Neither can I, but I am happy with my humble iMac Revision A. Hey, it'll be worth alot in 200 years. Well, actually, if you want to get me a Power Mac G5, I wouldn't object. Just as long as you also pay for the tax. Of course. Well, besides mentioning that Apple made 44 million buckaroos this quarter, (more then I'll ever see) I could say that they introduced new iBook G4s, or new eMacs, or even that tonight, OS X is evolving. That's right, Jaguar has gone, and tonight Panther is being unveiled. In all Apple Stores between 8 and 12 tonight, there will be lots of partying going on. Try discounts on merchandise, the raffling off of a new iMac, and Tah Dah! the sale of Panther. All at the convenient price of $129.00. It is also included with all new MAcs, which I'm sure will make it seem a lot more palatable. anyway, buy it for my sake, because we really wouldn't want Apple to lose any of its hard-earned cash, now would we? Incidentally, I won't be going to the night of the Panther, because the fourth of the now banned commandments forbids me to do so. If I'm wrong about that, I don't want to know.
Not too much to report here. The Wolves closed out their pre-season with a nice 19 point win over the Pacers. That's cute. Hopefully, we should be pretty good, what with the combo of Garnett, Scerbiak, Olowkandi, Cassell, Sprewell, and Troy Hudson, who just sprained his ankle. Too bad. Meanwhile, in the important news, the Marlins took a 3-2 series lead over the Yankees going into Saturday's game 6 in Yankee Stadium. The last two home teams, (that I can think of) that went home trailing 3-2 both wo, the Angels last year and the D-Backs the year before. You just have a sense that the Bronx Bombers will pull out a win, at least in game 6. Well, have a good night, I probably might. That's the sort of thing Charlie Brown would say. Good ol' wishy washy Carlie Brown, huh? Bye bye
Why, you ask? Well, I just realized it today, but Rainier, the kind and generous reader who so politely inquired as to the goings oon of my mind read my column that was intended for non-consumption. It is almost like a twist of fate, huh? Actually, more ironic than anything. The one thing that someone reads wasn't supposed to be read. Well, I have a response to the intrepid Washington mountain. $5!#@#. Or, $%$%^$^%$#^$%^&*$^#%#@#$^. That would, in fact, be a longer versio of the first one. Since this is a family blog, I can't say anything else. Well, have a good night. I have a bad cold, so don't expect much more tonight. You wouldn't anyway, so it doesn't really matter.
Again, another bad football weekend. Very bad. Not too much else. The world continues to exist, which is probably a good thing. Unless, of course, you make vast amounts of nothing. I din't read the note from the 17th. Actually, I did, but that doesn't mean much. Have a good day, anyway. I might.
Wow. Isn't this exciting? I am eady to lay down good money that no one is going to read this. Sorry, "good money" is a tautology. What was I thinking? All money is good money. If the Vikings (eeww!) or Yankees (yuuch!) or even the hated Schaumburg Flyers (AAAAHHHHH!) offer me money I'll take it. Same goes for Bill Clinto and Bill Gates. I'll get DNA testing on the Clnton money first though. So there you have it, brilliant words that no one will ever read. I could write something that was totally illogical, and no one would ever find out! Of course, I have had some people claim that all of my stuff was totally illogical, but that isn't the point. Well, have a happy feast, and if you must, don't. Hows that?
Well well well well. Isn't this beautiful. Let's recap. Chicago blws 3-0 lead in top of eighth. Chicago blows 5-3 lead in fourth. Vhicago blows 3-1 series lead. Red Sox blow 4-0 lead. Red Sox lose 6-5 in 11. How sad. I hate the Yankees, but I love the curses. Another "if only" filled off-season. Meanwhile, the Wild continue to stink it up, this time on national TV. Shame on Gaborik for being an idiot. Dupuis too, but after all, he's a French Canadian. Well, see you on Monday, after the Packers have been ritually slaughtered in St. Louis, the Marlins lead a series 2-0, and the Wild still stink. Oh, and the Wolves start up soon. Mazel Tov. My cup is rising, now it's at about 75%.
Sorry, I refuse to talk football right now. It is evil, and until the Packers win next week, or the Gophers for that matter, I refuse to discuss it. How a about a nice win today by the Red Sox? Miker Mussin is 0-3 in this post-season with a ERA that, while not great, had been adequate to win a lot of games. He had 10 K's tonight, and a bunch more in the past couple of starts. His problem has been run support. He's gotten just 6 runs, an average of 2 per game. Not even Cy Young, the all-time winningest pitcher could win on that. As an aside, Yound was also baseball's losingest all time pitcher. Same thing with Nolan Ryan, wh often lead the league in K's and BB's in the same season. That is why he threw 7 no-hitters, but no perfect games. Well, have a good night. G. Mantle
Well, I am sure that you've all heard about rush's latest admission. He said that he started using pain killers after his spinal surgery several years ago. I don't know about that. He sure didn't have a spine when he quit from ESPN.
Meanwhile, the Wild have their home opener tonight versus the New York Rangers, a team they have never won a game against. 0-5. Yawn. Let's see, shut out 5-0. again. Meanwhile, the Football Gophers play tonight, in the giggest game since the early '60s. Hpe they pound Michigan into the nastiest turf in college football since that stuff they used at Memorial Stadium. Huh? Me too. The mens hockey Gophers also play, and the two time defending champio will look to win a rematch of the NCAA hockey final from two years ago, when they beat the Maine Blackbears 4-3 in Overtime at the nicest arena in all of sports, the X. Well, have a good feast of the tabernacles.
The Twins resigned manager Ron Gardenhire to a new two year contract. Now I am not complaining, but there are several other people in the organization who should get priority. Eddie Guardado, who has had back-to-back 40+ save seasons. Or how about Latroy Hawkins, whose fastball would blow your head off, if Latroy wasn't such a nice guy. Of course though, there #1 priority is to sign Shannon Stewart, the only reason the Twins didn't finish in last place. Seriously. Without him, we would have been absolutely horrible. more later
And isn't everyone excited about this one. Let's see, the owners are just itching to lock out the players, the Wild have no scoring talent, and oh! did I forget, we lost tonight. But so did the Mighty Ducks. Which actually does us no good. Instead, I will refuse to talk about hockey till we win a game. So get back to me on Saturday night. Meanwhile, the biggest game in the last 40 years for Golden Gophers football will be taking place at the Metrodome on Saturday night. If the Gophers beat Michigan, reserve your tickets for the national title game at the orange bowl. Ithink. Or maybe it's the sugar bowl. Whatever. If not, then we get another .com bowl. Which is not, I repeat not, very fun. Meanwhile, the Cubs get back at the Marlins 12-3. Is anyone else thinking game 7 at Wrigley Field? Sweet. The Yankees meanwhile lost tonight 5-2 in the first game of the ALCS. Roger Clemens, former idol of all Red Sox nation will face Pedro Martinez, current idol, on Saturday afternoon. Man, I hate those television executives. They just can't get me a good time, huh?
Sorry, this won't be very coherent, because the most amazing National League game that I have ever heard is being played right now. Lets see. The first ten hits are for extra bases. Until the pitcher singles. Cubs up 4-0 after 1 inning. The Marlins score 5, lead 5-4 after 3 inings. Then 6-4. Then two run home run by Alex Gonzales, 6-6. Then Ivan Rodriguez, who already has 3 run home run singles in two in top of 9. The Slammin Sammy Sosa hits a two run home run to tie it up in the bottom of the ninth with two outs. Then in the top of the eleventh, Mike Lowell hits a pinch hit homerun. Now the bases are loaded with one out. Here is the pitch, and he lines it to short, and is doubled up. Wow, they missed a great chance there to win it. Okay then, you got a chance for some play-by play, which is illegal, since Major League Baseball is evil. Well now, 2-0 to Ramon Martinez. The batter is the tying run. Many records have been broken tonight. Heck, Alex Gonzales grounded out to Alex Gonzales. Well, the 2-1 pitch is grounded to the 3rd baseman, and he nearly throws it away, but the first baseman makes a great dig from the dirt. And in a a second, we've got a strikeout on three pitches And now, Kenny Lofton grouns out to short, and the ball game is over! What an amazing game! Man, you missed the greatest NL game I have ever listened to. Wow!!!!!
At least I predicted it. The Twins, as widely expected here in the compound, lost. anyway, one final baseball note till free-agency starts in two weeks: Go Red-Sox and Cubs. Or Marlins. For that matter, I guess that I'll take anyone but the Yankees. Just in case you think the Twins had a bad season, they not only had the best record in the second half of baseball, but became just the fifth team to stage a comback when down by more then five games at the all-star break. They were down by 7.5. On to football now, as the Packers got their biggest win of the season, 35-13 over a previously unbeaten Seattle. The Seahwaks hadn't given up a rushing TD. The Packers scored 3. Go Pack Go. Well, I will write more later today. I am saying that, because my clock says that it is 10 past 12:00. Good day, night, whatever
Well, it is looking like the Twins will pack up their belongings right before Yom Kippue starts. They lost, and now need to win 2 games versus the Yankees to advance. Too bad. The Gophers, though, improved to 6-0 with a nice 42-17 win Saturday, meaning that yet another Minnesota team will have a good chance to let everyones hopes down in the final weeks of the season. Yes! Well, just to show that I am not blind to the major issue of the week, Rush is having a hard time getting his foot out of his mouth. Serves him right, too, for not giving me any money.
Well, I have been doing some statistacal smapling, and it appears that there is 5 out of 9 chance that a California baseball will be in the playoffs, or 4/7 chance that one of the golden states basketball teams will qualify for the postseason, a 3/8 chance that a football will make it, and even in the land of sun and surf, California's hockey teams have a %60 of having one of their members enter the golden land. How about the the megaloplis of the East, NY, Boston, Washington, and NJ? Well, in football, there is a 5/8 chance of one o them reaching. In baseball, it is a little lower, with only a %30 chance. Hockey moves that up though, with 6 of the 15 teams in the Eastern conference being in one of these places. Not forgetting basketball, of course, where there is a %50 chance, with 4/8 teams in the Atlantic conference being there. And last but not least, and oh, sorry, that was four. Basically, what I am trying to prove here is that there is a massive East coast or West Coast bias in the way teams are apportioned. Football has done the best job of apportioning them out, with only one market having two teams, while hockey has a city with three. I really doesn't bother me that much, except that it is annoying to only here about these teams, when there are a lot of other good teams out there. Oh well, have a good weekend. The slate? Twins-Yankees twice, Packers and Vikings both in action, the Wild get underway soon, and the Wolves training camp starts. More on that next week. Bye Bye
The Yankees tied up the series with the Twins at one game apiece with a 4-1 win on Thursday night. Starter Brad Radke was great, but made a costly error, hitting a batter that was behind in the count at 1-2. Then Latroy Hawkins came in and made a throwing error which led to two runs. To bad. Anyway, the Twins still have a good chance. It was funny listening to the crowd though. After Jason Giambi had struck out with two menon, the crowd booed. In his next at bat, he singled in two runs, and every Yankees fan was in love with him. Fickle, my friend, fickle. Of course, the NY press will be all over this, and the Yankees fans will be pushing and shoving to jump right back on the bandwagon. Contrary to the NY Post's opinion, one win a championship does not make.
And once and for all, hello. Well, the Twins had an off day, but that doesn't mean that the sports world stood still. The Wolved resigned Kevin Garnett to another huge deal, which is a great thing. It means that he will probably be resigned once more, and then retire in about ten years. Of course, we still won't have gotten past the fist round. The US women beat Norway 1-0, which is nice for the 1% of sports fans who care about soccer. It is even nicer for the 1% of those fans who care about womens soccer. Excuse me, I was exaggerating. 2% care about the ladies. Oh well, title 9 may require schools to kill their mens athletic programs, but it can't require the beer swilling, pretzel eating, lawn mowing men age 18-35 to watch the garbage that is most womens sports. Tennis and soccer are fine, but basketball? Comeone, there has only been one dunk. Not in one game, but in the entire 10 year existence of the league. Men like men who can dunk. ANd now I turn full circle, to KG. Have a good Thurday, and catch the Twins at 7:00 CT as they beat the Yankees by five.