So how's Detroit? Enjoyed the ride? Good, good. Anyway, if you didn't hear, the Wolves rolled 93-80, meaning that our lead is still 1.5 over SA, due to their horrible insistence in winning games oves Sacramento all the time. Jerks. With just 2 games to go, the Wild won their first overtime game of the season 5-4 over the hated Avalanche, and so even though we won't be representing the West in the Stanley Cup finals, we did become the last team to win in overtime. Yeah. That was sarcastic. Meanwhile, not too much other news. Obviously it has been tough keeping this big black secret, but I have been managing. That is, I would have been if some people here had behaved in a more gentlemanlike manner. No, not you, of course not. I was tlking about him. Oh, never mind, if you insist on him, then I will not stop you. (Under breath) Typical idiot. Has no idea what's happening. (Over breath) Well then, that's all cleared up, eh? Now how about a game of Brockian Ultar Cricket? That's six..seven..eight. Good, we'll have a four on four. The rules? You want ot know the rules? But that would ruin the game, you blithering idiot! Oh, all right, but only because I am such a nice guy. I'm not? Well, you ow't find out the rules. So hah! Well then, we'll play tommorow, okay? Good. bye now
Mums the word my friends. I do have a juicy secret that I'm just dying (the carpet) to get off my chest, but I guess that such an event will be unneccessary after this mornings wonderful peptalk. Take that Mr. B.S. Anyway though, enough with the spy stuff, I'll give you some good sporting news that'll make your pants fall off and fly to Jupiter, where they'll be very well recieved by the great pant collector of Jupiter, who makes his living selling second-hand pants to retailers who then pass them off to consumers as "rugged". Bit of a scam, eh? But anyway, (hey, it rhymes) the Gophers womens basketball team has made if to the Final Four. Nice. Obviously, we have no chance to win, but that's what #2 Kansas, #3 Boston College, and #1 Duke said before they lost to the women in maroon. Connecticut might want to study that film a little more closely, huh? The Twins picked Brad Thomas to be their 5th starter, a move that they will regret at the end of the season. Hopefully I iwll be wrong about this one. I saw him pitch three years ago versus Seattle in a game that we should have won. No excuses. But back to the present, Thomas is just to froody to be a serious contender. No matter that he's Australian and prefers surfing to a real man's game like cricket, he actually ... (Gasp!!!). Sorry, that's also a secret. If you want to know what I really wrote, just send me a self-addressed $100 bill, and I'll send you back a Washington with the answer. Or, just comment on this. Either will do. bye
So, no comments, huh? What do you take this blog for, a Microsoft flunky-lead anti-revolutionary pinko nonsense filled writing excercise? Well, I certainly beg your pardon there. Humph. So, a little more excitement in the area that prompted "bried flirtation with basketball but back to football" to start reading this blog. Inspirational speaking, eh? Beautiful stuff. I hope for a full confession tommorow. Don't worry, anything said in the booth is strictly private. It isn't like anybody reads this thing anyway.
Quick sports now. The Bronx Bombers lost to the Tigers of Hanshin, the Twins beat up on the skydome inhabitants, the Wild fell to the Red Army of Detroit, the travelling freak show that consists of KG and well, uh, KG, won again, Andre pulled ahead for another resounding victory, and our beloved Packers open on MNF in Carolina. Scary. bye
Another triple-whammy, eh? I don't know if any of you know it, but that part about Sholom Home is really traumatizing. Tragic I tell you. That part about serious conversation is also pretty tough. What serious conversation can our masked Englishman be referring to? If you don't get the reference, read the book, elephant head. If you don't get that reference, move to Alabama for a month. Oh yeah, make sure to attend a 'bama game. Beautiful. Anyway, as far as I know, no serious conversation was ever attempted. Don't get me wrong here, I mean I really love it, but this ignorance is just killing me man. So let's get on the ball here and start working for the common good.
How about some sport? Let's see, except for the lack of a threepeat at the Fleet, there was a Darwitz doing dastardly tricks at the Dunk, the rock cooked up a storm in Norfolk, the Iowa'ns and Boulderites were no match for the golden colored fiighting rodents, the crazies beat the (almost) perfect Jiggy, the redd colored antlers lost, the monarchs won, the Prieto lead Pirate blasters continued their semblance of dominance, and uh, that's all folks. bye
Very funny, eh? Anyway, what a terrific comment. The positive glow just drips off it like the runny egg yolk on my fingers. Just kidding actually. The simile there actually worked, which is a definite improvement. Or maybe metaphor? Well, I really don't care either way, seeing as I got a thing called artistic license. So anyway, back to that vicious comment, not much doing. I mean how am i to respond to such a personal attack? Obviously the person doing the writing was in a foul mood when he wrote it. He didn't even bother to take not of my blog. Strictly of course, that's not true, as he did take a while over it. But never fear, I'll hold true to (his) form and write something that is just like totally off topic man. Like yeah!! So anyway, back to that I love you statement, the search continues on here in the greatest city in the world to determine what exactly John Buchan's great Muslim was talking about. Now don't get dyspepsia over this, but I am beginning to think that I do not know the answer to this fundamental question. Maybe if I got a coment on it I could repsond a little better. Who knows? All I have to say is, "Read the book, you might get it." Well then, if you do insist on ending on that note, Johan was good, no, not Hedburg, Santana, Flip Saunders is 50, wins that is, Thomas is my hero, as is Chrissy, and uh, what am I forgetting here? Oh, right! Tune in tommorow. bye
Blow the trumpets and bucinas, stamp your feet, and clap now as we get a ...comment. Sure, it's a negative one, but who cares? Somebody cared enough to write something. (sniff sniff) Sory about the double usage of the word care, but I couldn't think of anything new. Well then, let's analyze it, shall we? Pesach break too long? You crazy? What we should shorten is school, not vacation time. I mean it's not like they're paying you or anything. Oh, commitment to excellence, eh? A desire to train young men to be fine and upstanding members of the community, huh? (snort) Whatever. The way I see it, everything I have written here has been complete. Sportswise not much, so I'll be be signing off now. Personal stuff? Would "I love you" make you happy? I'm not saying who the first you is, so spend a little time on the reply. bye
Hey there faithful readers, all sports here all the time. Remember how the Wild scored 7 goals versus Chicago a while back, which at that time was a team record? Well, they scored 8 tonight in Chicago. And that 60? Oh yeah, that's all the penalty minutes that there were. Beautiful. All the websites had different stats, but I'll give you the ones from the Wild's official website. Here they are: Marian Gaborik had a goal and two assists, Pascal Dupuis, in hi sfirst game since March 4th had 4 assists, Alexandre Daigle had 2 goals, Manny Fernandez stopped 29 of 31 shots, and, oh wait, I got some different stats here. The official NHL reporter thingamijiggie says that Manny faced 35 shots. Let's keep it at that, because it makes him look better. Let's see, any more? Munro, the Chicago goalie, stopped just 17 pucks. Whosever stats you look at, this was a terrific game for the Wild. In fact, for their last 2 or 3 goals, there were more cheers than boos. The building was half empty to begin with, and I'm sure that most of the Blackhawks fans had left after the second period, meaning that there were a lot of Wild guys there, matching the seats in their 3rd jerseys. well then, bye
Well well well, look who got skipped for a message today. That isn't strictly true, since one was written at 8:30 in the morning, but it was never posted and I can't find the life of me remember what it was, except that the Crimson Pimpernel got mad about LL. Don't ask me why. Anyway, all the morons lost badly, si I won't be talking about them. Well then, if there are no more inverted sentences to write, enjoy yourself. bye
I must say that I don't really understand all that you've written here, CP. First of all, what is only for girls? Oh, you mean not getting the winks, nudges, and demure smiles through hazy eyes? Yeah, well I'm not worrying about it, because that's what I've been told to do, which in some instances may just be too bad. The whole tone of this comment is very conciliatory too, I wonder what that is all about. The poem was abrasive, perfect for writing at 7:00 AM. Oh right, that's when it was written. This comment though is just so beautiful. Sappy more like. Let's have some hard core nonsense shoved down our throats! Anyway though, keep those comments coming. I like 'em. So in conclusion on this subject, I think that today was a draw. Beat me people!
In sports, the Wolves actually won an important game, beating SA 86-81 despite blowing a 15 point first quarter lead. Sam Casell had a triple double, and KG had 27 and ten in the win. Nice. The Gophers women also did well, beating #2 Kansas State 80-61. This game was not as close as it looks though. The Gophers held KS to 17 first half points and were leading by 26 at the time. From then on, it was just twenty minutes till the Sweet Sixteen. Beautiful.
Oh, and one more thing. Where did you pick up on the Pimpernel? Was it in Alabama, or LL? Okay, I'll explain those brilliant allsuions. The Crimson Tide is the name of the Alabama U team, and LL is Louis L'amour, whose books populate the nether regions of certain people's parent's houses. Just checking.
Whispers and winks and coveted front seats
have and will always exist,
but it's the way that its viewed and interpreted by you
that gives it an uncomfortable twist.
So the next time you find that you seem to mind
the winks and the quiet things they say,
think positive and true and be comforted by the rule:
every dog has his day.
--The Scarlet Pimpernel
Wow, what a great comment. Let's analyze it together, shall we? Well, the first part about the coveted front seat is definitely true. It connotes respect, which evryone, including you, the peruser of this fine effort, certainly enjoy. Well, I only see things the way anyone my age would, I don't know if you could blame me on that account. Besides, for whom is it uncomfortable? I realize that the main players might not like it all that much, but those on the periphery like me are certainly enjoying every second of this grand charade. Oh, I definitely do not mind the winks and the wuiet things they say. The problem is that I never get them. Why? Who knows. Only girls worry about that kind of thing. The last part does not make as much sense, though I gather, in light of what I just wrote, that it means that thos enudges are coming soon. Well, not soon enough in my not so humble opinion. Regardless, it's all good. The Scarlet Pimpernel part I don't get. For those of you not in the know, that refers to a book by some French Duchess or other about an English guy who saves a lot of French aristocrats in the French Revolution. Good book, but the analogy isn't quite clear. Unlike in the book, I know who wrote that. Anyway though, it was great poetry, and I will greatly enjoy a response.
Okay then,a little sport. The Wild blew a 2-0 lead, lost 3-2 in OT. Blech. Michael Restovich hit a grand slam in the top of the ninth though, which almost makes up for it. Except that the hit was in Grapefruit league play. Well then, have a normal night, bye
Hey people out there in internet land, this is your first mate speaking. Well, if someone is actually reading this anyway. Post is you are. Good boy. Well, a little sports news. 3 Gophers women won. The Wolves and Twins. The Wild were off. Warren Sapp will never face Brett Favre again. Anything else? No? Good. Now onto the lighter side of life. Remember last week news? Well, of course you don't and the reason is that you have great memory delete. That's kind of the opposite of memory recall. But I digress. Which is what I do most of my time anyway, so there was nothing lost in that anyway. Regardless, I'll try to get back on topic. Eventually. You following? Good. Okay then, here goes. Wow, what a great waste of four lines. It's bad writing like that that really makes me leap for joy. Oh right, but back to last weeks stuff. So that has really died a quick death. Literally. We buried it on Saturday. Unfortunately. You see, without that, life is really not much fun. So therfore, I would like to make a suggestion. Let's have lots more excitement. Let's have whispered conversations in the front seats of cars, allusions with a wink in front of company, and plenty of fire in the spitoon. Well, that would go out pretty quickly in a spitoon, right? Okay then, due it in a BBQ. Though then ther's less spontaneous dancing. bye
Sweet. What a game tonight. 1-0. 1-1. 2-1. 2-2. 2-3. 3-3. 4-3. 4-4. 5-4. That was the score in the UM-UND championship game for the WCHA crown. And we won it. Hah! Well then, not too much else. Some bad news actually. Agassi lost. Boo-hoo. And the Big Dance is as maddening as ever. Except for Seattle, nothing very exciting happened today. Oh sure, UW-Stout or something like that won the D-III title, but there just haven't been enough upsets. I love upsets. Everyone does. That's what makes this country great. Small public colleges beating up on large public colleges. With a college of private schools vying for some attention. Well, regardless, I am still pretty tired. So, uh, bye
Who's yowzers? The folks of course. I don't know why that apostrophe is in there, but that doesn't stop me from using it. Oh no, not me, the great English fiend. Well, the idiots stink. Enough said about them. The Wild won their third in a row, and have not lost in 7. In fact, they are just 8 points out of a playoff spot, though of ocurse they would have to have the benefit of some serious divine intervention. Still though, stranger htings have happened. Like the morons actually won a game. Oh right, I wasn't going to talk about them. Meanwhile, the Twins won their fourth in a row, and they are looking primed for the coming season. The NCAA tourney has been very annoying, with a bunch of teasm nearly getting upset, but failing to fall. I hate BCS teams getting far. It's much more interesting watching a Buldogs-Jaspers championship game than one featuring Kentucky and Duke. That, my friends, would be stupendously boring. Though I would probably end up going for Kentucky. bye
Well, more good news today. Last night, the Wild won 5-2, with fair maid Marian getting 3 goals and 2 assists. Sweet. That is how the West is won. Well, if you play like that all year. Regardless, it got the home crowd happy, which is all that really counts. Tonight, both the Kings and Mavs lost, while San Antonio lost last night. Even though we stink, they stink just a little bit more. The Twins also managed to win a game, which is kind of nice. UWM also own its NIT game, which is of course evem less meaningless than a win in Cactus League action. Well then folks, enjoy yourselves, bye
Well, I have good news and I have bad news. Which one do you want to hear first. Well, okay, read, but what's the difference? Well, the bad news is that there is no news on any people of the female persuasion. Sorry. The good news is that most of my teams are winning tonight. Sweet. I won't do a rundown, so as not to jinx any of them, but suffice it to say that a quick trip to sportsline.com will inform you of their eventual fate. Well, the Twins won. That much I'll tell you. bye
So, no one read last night, eh? Well, I forgive you impudent little wretches, but still, I pour my soul out and all I get is a lump of black bread. Well, and a little salt. But still, it just is not fair. So I really would appreciate if you people would start reading the brilliant sludge that I am giving out to you ungrateful little brutes.
So, how is life treating you? Good. Well, nothing sporting of late, so I'll let you off the hook for now. You asked about what I wrote yesterday? Well, i know that you didn't, but I will still write a little more for you. That just shows what kind of nice guy I am. Seriously. So anyway, there is a little problem among some of the men in this situation. They are disagreeing about the cause of the problem. one is saying that it is the woman's fault. The other says that it is the original sin that posseses man which is causing the problems here. I just sit on the sideline and laugh, mainly because it has nothing to do with me. Well, i iwll tell you the whole juicy story if you post a comment. bye
Man, this human race of ours is a very odd one. You want to know why? Well, I'll tell you soon, but first a wrapup of sports news. The Wild won. Yeah. The Gopher women ice devils won. Nice. Well, maybe the devilettes. The Badgers won. The Gophers women are a seventh seed, which is disgusting. Anyway, nothing on those losers, the Wolves, or the morons who think they can play baseball. All 3 of them. Men, women, and manboys. Whatever that means. So, back to humanity's foibles. I really can't say, because if someone for some odd reason was to read this, then I would get into trouble. Suffice it to say, women are wierd and men who think they can understand them are even wierder. More wierd. Whatever. Note that I am an interested bystander in this whole affair. All right, so the were talking about me, but still, I didn't say anything to her. What am I talking about? That's for me to know and you to comment about. Then I will tell you. Meanwhile, at the risk of being mildly risque, bye
Well, another comment, another one that I will not read. Please people, so something abou this outrage! The Gophers men actually won a game, so Mazel Tov, and now they just gotta beat 4 more teams to get into the tourney. The Twins lost, but who cares? The Wolves lost last night, and that is just absolutely pathetic. No excuses. The Wild had a 1-0 lead with 5 to go, and ended up tied. Oy. Well then, bye
Well, the Wild blew a 4-1 third period lead, but one 4-3. The Wolves came back and won, which was nice to see. Both teams will play tonight. Okay then, who wrote those two messages? I would love to read them, but I'm not looking back at all 267 posts to find out which of the posts was messaged. Nice word, eh? So please, tell me what the day was, and I'll respond. Yippee! bye
Thw Wild, on the round, playing a division leader, and down 1-0 are now leading 2-1 after one period. Amazing. The Wolves are stinking up though in Seattle, so it is all kind of balancing out. UWM lost tonight, which means no happy Panthers in the big dance. Well then, Go Wisconsin!!
Well, until someone can actually hold a lead, a fail to see why I should have to write about the idiots being paid millions to make me happy. You know what? They are doing a terrible job. bye
Man, not a single bad piece of nes on the day. The Twins won. The Gophers mens basketaball and mens hockey and mens baseball team won. The Gophers mens gymnastics team won. The Gophers womens hockey team won. Sacramento Kings lost to Miami. (eww) Well, we've lost to worse teams, so whatever. Well, our lead in the Central is now 2.5 which is bad, and Cleveland beat Milwaukee, but the Badgers mens team won, so even Wisconsin fans have something to cheer for. Okay then people, enjoy yourselves, bye
Well, I must say that it is nice to be able to say that again. The Twins beat Cincinatti 10-4, though Torii HUnter might have gotten injured. I think that I spell Torri's name differently every time. Whatever. It isn't like anyone can spell, or even say my name. "Greenmantle?" they say, "What kind of name is that?" So i tell them that it's the name of a Muslim prophet in a penny thriller from the twenties. And then they look at me strangely and slowly back away. Regardless, the Wild salvaged a tie with LA, scoring with about 2.5 minutes left, ending up at 1-1. Obviously, they aren't going to win anything, but I still have hope. For next season. Well then, have a good weekend, enjoy the food, bye
The Wolves scored as many points through three as the Mavs scored in the entire game and blew them out 121-97. Nice. The Mavs shot 39%, but that's only because they took 108 shots. How do you do that? The Wolves took 88 shots, and still blew them out of the water by 24 points. Meanwhile, the Wild have hit 4 goalposts, and are losing 1-0 in the third. Don't worry, they will lose. Well then, make big money, bye
Okay now, I don't want to write too much. Just the obit for John Kerry. Sorry, John Edwards. Well, both. See, Bush is going to pound Kerry into the turf like Gilbert Brown (who the Packers just released) sitting down on top of Ryan Longwell. Ouch. That would hurt. Well, if his kicking leg is all right, then who really cares? Seriously though, spring training games start on Thursday. Nice. We play the Red Sox, a team that we always open against, simply because we share the same city, Fort